A Rush Of Blood To The Head
by Lilwazzabug
Summary: One moment. Two points of view. A lot could be heard in the silence immediately following Samhain's return to Hell. Twoshot. Tag to 4.07 "It's The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester."
1. Sam

**Notes**

_I wanted them to give us soooo much more in the moments after Sam exorcised Samhein. They passed up a truly great Hurt!Sam/Worried!Dean moment there, and I personally am SERIOUSLY starved for a little H/C. _

_So what happens when the writers don't give us what we want? We have to take matters into our own hands. I realize this concept has probably been beaten to death, but the voices wouldn't shut up until I wrote my version of it. And I do realize I sort of missed the window posting this, seeing as the episode aired what...over a month ago? lol But oh well. Like Dean says "You can't rush perfection." Or in my case...passable writing._

_Hope you enjoy the broness: )_

-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-

**Chapter 1: Sam**

Ruby's knife lay ten feet away. Far out of reach and on the other side of a very powerful, very pissed off demon. Sam's mind raced as he picked himself off the floor, quickly coming up with no ideas. He was cornered with his back, literally, against a wall. So when the demon charged him, he knew he had no choice. Sam thrust his arm out, palm facing the demon, Samhain, and stopping it in its tracks. Sam immediately felt the difference in this demon from all the others. The strength of this one was staggeringly greater than that of the low-level demons he was used to and he had to concentrate harder on keeping it away from him.

Black smoke misted out of the bullet holes in the demon's stolen skin. The pale eyes looked down at its chest in shock before turning angrily to glare at Sam. Its feet slipped against the floor as it managed to take a half-step forward, struggling against the invisible force keeping it at bay. Sam's hand trembled with the effort and his features twitched constantly as the strain became too much. He still felt the field of energy separating himself from the demon waver a little. The demon pressed a few more leaden steps forward before Sam was able to draw together enough energy to stop it again. The demon barred it's teeth and snarled quietly at him.

Something over the demon's shoulder caught Sam's eye, a figure appearing at the end of the hall. Sam looked up and saw Dean standing, staring at him, lips parted and features smoothed in some form of awe. Sam felt his hold weaken a little more and panic spread through him as he looked his brother. _"No!" _His mind yelled. _"This evil bastard will kill you. He'll kill Dean if you don't win this." _Sam's eyes flicked between Dean and the demon a few times before focusing fully on the latter. Sam set his jaw stubbornly and narrowed his eyes. _"Not going to happen. I won't let it." _Sam pushed harder and immediately felt the field strengthen again. _"I'm not going to let you hurt anyone else. I won't let you hurt him." _Sam's ears popped and he heard an odd ringing sound. He grimaced and clenched his teeth, trying to ignore it as it started to become too loud. A second later, pain split through his head, sending a quick, reverberating shock wave down through his body and into his arms. Sam's free hand flew up to grasp his head, forcing back the pain and focusing everything on sending this demon back to Hell.

The demon's dead-looking eyes stared wide, shocked at Sam as smoke began to tumble from its mouth. Sam tapped into his final reserves of strength and focused them on the task at hand. _"Almost there, almost there, almost there." _Sam chanted in his head. He felt something warm roll over his lips and he tasted iron. More of the demon billowed out of its host. _"Just a little more." _God, his head pressed further, further until he felt himself getting the upper hand. He dropped his clawed fingers from his head and the last of the black smoke fell from the host's mouth, leaving the art teacher who it had possessed to fall to the floor. Tremors shook through Sam and he could feel his heart pounding in his head, now a dull -though not weak- pain instead of the stabbing agony like before. He lowered his hand towards the black clouds swirling around the man's still body until the smoke seeped down through the tiles on the floor, tracing fiery lines where the demon fell through the cracks and back down to Hell.

Sam broke his hold and let his arm fall heavily to his side, his chest heaving as he pulled in deep breaths. He felt eyes looking at him and he hesitantly looked up to meet what he knew was his brother's gaze, all the while feeling ashamed of himself. Sam's chin trembled as he tried to control the myriad of emotions that threatened to break him. He hadn't wanted Dean to see him like this. This was something he'd _never _wanted his brother to witness. The expression on Dean's face didn't help either. He looked scared, heart-broken, and defeated; three things Sam wasn't used to, and hated, seeing Dean like. And what was worse, Sam knew he was the cause of it.

Sam felt completely drained of energy. His arms and legs felt like led, his hands shook at his side, and his head was killing him, the pain ten times worse than the aftermath of any of his visions. He took in a deep, shuddering breath and dropped his eyes away from Dean; he hadn't the strength to witness his brother's broken spirit anymore. Sam took a heavy step forward, the second one sending him to his knees. He groaned as the impact jarred his aching head and doubled over clutching at his forehead with both hands. Heavy, running footsteps drew close and Sam felt the tension in him ease a little as comforting hands gripped his shoulders. The fact that Dean was even willing to come near him was a huge relief.

"Sam, hey. Talk to me. You okay?"

The genuine love and concern in Dean's voice twisted something in Sam's chest; he'd half expected never to hear that tone again. Relief nearly pushed Sam over the edge and he had to bite his lower lip to hold back the sobs jumping in his chest. The hands moved from Sam's shoulders to either side of his face and Sam let his own hands drop as Dean's gently lifted his head. Sam slowly swept his eyes up to meet his brother's. A line of concern creased between Dean's eyebrows and he mumbled a curse under his breath as his eyes stilled on Sam's nose.

Dean's left thumb moved to wipe away the line of blood running down over Sam's lips. He winced silently as he examined the smudge of red on his finger before meeting Sam's gaze, green searching blue-green. Sam just looked back and remained as still as possible, afraid that at any wrong movement would set Dean off and he would storm away in a fit of rage. Instead, Dean pulled up the cuff of his jacket and wiped away the rest of the blood running from Sam's nose.

"Are you alright?" Dean asked. Sam couldn't stop the tears that rolled from his too-warm-feeling eyes.

"I'm sorry." His whispered voice cracked a little. The effect it had on Dean could not be hidden. Sam noticed the slight tremble of Dean's lower lip, saw the light reflect off the new-found shine in his eyes. Dean just looked back at him for a few moments, then blinked. His eyebrows quirked a little and he licked his lips. He shook his head slowly.

"You didn't have a choice." Dean's voice was gruff and low. The words felt like a kick to Sam's stomach; that didn't exactly sound like acceptance of his apology. His disappointment must have shown on his face. Dean's eyebrows dipped a fraction lower and his head tilted to the side slightly. He blinked again, his features suddenly softened. "I'm not mad at you, Sammy."

Relief flooded Sam. He didn't even really care if Dean was lying. The fact that he was at least trying to humor him was enough for Sam at that moment. He felt the tears prickling more incessantly at his sinuses, but he pushed them back. Dean's hands hooked carefully under Sam's shoulders and he helped him so he could lean back against the wall he'd been thrown against not five minutes earlier. Dean hopped on his left boot to readjust his crouch next to Sam and he gave his shoulders a light shake.

"Are. you. okay? And answer me this time."

Sam sniffed and brought a leaden arm up to wipe the sleeve under his nose.

"Head hurts." He said quietly. Dean pressed a finger under Sam's chin and tilted his head back, his eyes flicking between Sam's.

"Any blurred vision? Spots? Numbness anywhere?"

"No." Sam answered simply, watching Dean. Dean dropped his hands from Sam's face and leaned back on his heels.

"How many fingers?" He asked, holding up his left hand.

"Three." Sam answered correctly. Dean nodded, looking satisfied that Sam had not done any physical harm to himself, but Sam could tell he was still sizing him up, surveying any other possible damage. He knew that Dean didn't like silences, or he didn't like _his _silences, anyway. So Sam knew the fact that he hadn't said much was probably sounding warning bells in Dean's head. Sam let his eyes slipped closed and his head fell back against the stone wall with a dull _thunk_.

"M'tired." Sam all but squeaked. He heard Dean's boots scuff against the floor and he felt him move closer.

"Can you walk?" Dean's deep voice inquired gently.

"Didn't seem to work out too well the last time I tried." Sam said, opening his eyes and giving Dean a weak smile. Dean managed a shaky half-smile, but Sam could still see _that look _in his eyes.

"Come on. I'll help. We'll make it okay."

The words hit closer to home than Sam knew Dean had intended, but he still couldn't stop the world from going blurry around the edges again. Sam bit his lip and dropped his head down. It seemed like no matter what he did, no matter how much he screwed up, how many times he hurt Dean, he would still be there. Dean would never give up on him. It had always felt like a blessing to Sam. He just hoped things never got bad enough that it would turn into a curse.

Dean's face appeared suddenly before him, concern on his features more evident than before.

"Hey." Dean said softly, eyebrows furrowing a little, a hand resting gently on Sam's shoulder. Sam raised his head and nodded.

"Yeah." He sniffed loudly. "Let's get the hell outta here."

Dean swept his eyes carefully over Sam before standing. He reached down, Sam reaching back, and grasped Sam's forearm at the elbow. Sam tightened his grip on Dean's arm and was hauled to his feet. Sam's head gave a particularly painful thud and the room spun. He felt Dean's arm immediately wrap securely around his back, the other hand splayed over his chest, steadying. The room finished its final turn and Sam nodded. Dean pulled Sam's right arm across his shoulders and started walking, giving the recently possessed body a wide berth.

"What about him?" Sam rasped as he looked over his shoulder at the dead art teacher.

"Well, we're in a mausoleum. The way I see it...he's already where he's supposed to be."

Sam didn't argue, especially since he didn't have a better idea. A salt and burn would normally be in order, but he was quickly losing confidence in how much longer he could stay conscious. Dean stopped suddenly and took Sam's arm off his shoulders, still keeping a firm grip on it as he bent down and retrieved Ruby's knife.

"He knocked it away from me." Sam supplied numbly as he stared at the knife, not really sure what the point was behind trying to explain himself. Dean stowed the knife in an inner pocket of his jacket and repositioned Sam's arm back to its previous place.

"You did what you had to, Sam." Dean supported most of Sam's weight as they started forward again. "He probably would have killed you."

_"He would have. And he would have killed _you _too, Dean." _Sam didn't say what he was thinking. He didn't want Dean to find a way to blame himself for what had happened. _"I was unable to stop that from happening once, Dean. I wasn't about to do it again. I _won't _let that happen again. I swear to God, I won't." _Dean's voice cut into Sam's thoughts suddenly.

"But next time I say you're not going off by yourself, you wait for me. You understand me?"

Sam could hear fear behind Dean's demanding tone. He knew there was truth to what Dean said. Experience had done nothing but show them the dangers of separating, but Sam thanked God that he had decided to break the "stick together" rule once again. If Dean had gone with him to face Samhain instead of staying behind to deal with the various supernatural beings in the mausoleum crypt, he would probably be dead right now. True, Sam was immune to the blast that both Lillith and Samhain had thrown at him, but he would bet anything that Dean would not be. And Sam was not the least bit interested in finding out if he was right.

Not wanting to kick his brother while he was already freaked to hell, Sam kept his reply simple.

"Yeah. I understand."

"We're stronger as a family. You said that yourself once." Dean paused a moment. "There's nothing we can't handle if we take it on together."

Sam just nodded carefully. He couldn't agree more. He felt most confident on a hunt when he knew that Dean had his back, felt his best when he had his brother by his side.

"I want you to never forget that, Sammy." Dean said softly after a moment.

Sam looked over at his brother's profile. Dean's eyes focused straight ahead, his lips held tightly together, and his jaw set stubbornly. In that moment, a nearly forgotten feeling filled and warmed Sam. It was a feeling that had followed him around for all of his childhood, but as an adult, Sam could only recall a handful of times he had experienced it. The last time he had felt it had been in passing. It had been that night back in Saginaw when he and Dean were packing their things back at the hotel after leaving the scene of Max Millar's suicide. _"As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you." _Twelve simple, yet forever powerful words had stirred up a feeling of pure, unwavering comfort in Sam. It had been a moment where he truly believed in what Dean had to say and that he alone could make everything alright again. A moment where his big brother could protect him from everything bad in the world.

Sam let his eyes slip closed briefly as love and trust warmed away the cold that had had its icy grip on his chest for the past few minutes. They reached the stairs leading up from the mausoleum and Dean readjusted his hold on Sam's wrist before starting up them. The movement caused Sam's fingertips to brush the cuff of Dean's jacket and he hooked his fingers on the fabric and fisted the material tightly in his hand, holding onto his brother and the strength he provided for as long and as tightly as he could.

_...To Be Reiterated..._

-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-

**A few more thoughts**

_I cannot get the concept out of my head that Dean always seems to be responsible for power-spikes in Sam's abilities. And that look he gave Dean right before he pushed himself hard enough to make his nose bleed just seemed significant. The second Sam looked away from Dean, his face changed. He got more determined and OMG his powers grew strong enough to take a physical toll on him. Not to mention the cabinet in Nightmare. -Shrugs- I don't know, they just sure seem to REALLY stress how much Sam is wiling to do for Dean (and vice versa, but Dean has already proved his part of that)_

_I'll have Dean's POV up in chapter two as soon as I can. Shouldn't be too long._

_Ok, so...good? No good? Like every other tag to this scene out there?_

_Reviews are like candy...and I'm Dean on Halloween: )_

_-.V.-Lil-.V-_


	2. Dean

**Notes**

_Alright, so I was good(for once). I kept my promise and posted the second and final chap soon after the first. I hope you guys enjoy it. I enjoyed writing it and I enjoyed sharing it even more: _

_Also, if you notice maybe that one VERY small detail of this is different from the first chapter, that was my fault and I fixed it in the first part.  
_

-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-

**Chapter 2: Dean**

Dean made quick work of staking the last zombie that hobbled sluggishly towards him. He retrieved the silver stake from the fallen undead's chest and turned just in time to shoot the gun in his other hand at a spirt hovering nearby. That was the last of them. Time to go find Sam. Dean had told him to wait, but Sam, just as stubborn as his older brother and father, had gone off by himself anyway. Dean hastily gathered and returned the various weapons he'd used to the bag and hoisted it over his shoulder before standing and running down the corridor to find his brother.

How long had they been separated? Was Sam okay? Had he had enough time to-...Everything in Dean's mind froze as he rounded a corner, the sight before him stopping him dead in his tracks. _"Oh God..." _The hall opened up into a room and standing in it, back to Dean, was the art teacher whom Samhain was possessing. Sam stood before the demon, a shaking hand outstretched, features contorting rapidly as he concentrated on holding the evil in front of him at bay.

Dean noticed Ruby's knife lying on the floor behind the demon, out of Sam's reach. His mind told him to run, to pick up the knife, and stab it into that damn thing. To stop Sam from what he said he was done with, but Dean's body seemed to have other plans. He couldn't make his legs move, couldn't stop himself from staring numbly at the events unfolding before his shocked eyes. _"Sammy." _Sam looked so scared and unsure.

Sam looked up then and met Dean's gaze. His face softened slightly. Dean just stared back, his features lax and his lips parted in disbelief over seeing his little brother fighting a demon using nothing else other than his mind. Sam's eyes flitted between the demon and Dean a few times and Dean saw the expression on his face change instantly as he focused his attention back on the demon. Sam's brow furrowed and his jaw tightened in a look of rock-solid determination. Dean saw Sam's hand shaking badly from his efforts and Sam's face contorted with pain. Suddenly, Sam's free hand flew up to clutch at his head.

Cold gripped Dean's chest as a dark line of crimson rolled from his little brother's nose. He rushed forward a few steps, but slowed to a stop again. _"Stop. Please, Sam. You have to stop what you're doing right. now." _Sam's features twisted and morphed constantly as he unknowingly ignored Dean's silent pleas and continued whatever the hell it was that was causing him such obvious pain. Black smoke dropped to swirl around the feet of the demon's stolen body, more falling with each passing moment.

Sam dropped the hand from his head and the possessed man before him crumpled to the floor. Sam's face was red from exertion, his expression smoothing as he lowered his hand a little. The smoke surrounding the fallen man's body crawled about and gradually disappeared through the cracks in the tile. Dean waited until he saw the last of the demon melt back down into Hell before slowly lifting his gaze back to his brother.

Sam's entire body shook slightly, the tremors most visible in his hands where they hung limply at his sides. His chest heaved as he pulled in deep, audible breaths. Dean swallowed hard over the tightness in his throat as the meaning of what had just happened began to sink in. His little brother had just exorcised Samhain. The demon feared and powerful enough to be responsible for the celebration of Halloween and Sam had been powerful enough to beat it. The implications of that fact made Dean feel slightly sick to his stomach.

Sam looked up at him finally, seeming hesitant in doing so. The look on Sam's face made him look like a child again. He looked ashamed, scared, lost. It was the look Sam used to get when he was worried that he would get in trouble with their father. It broke Dean's heart. He didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to feel, what to say. He was simply at a loss in all possible respects.

The spell that had gripped Dean for the past three minutes shattered abruptly when Sam's knees buckled and he crashed to the floor. Dean was already running down the hall towards the small room when he heard Sam's throaty groan of pain. He dropped heavily to his knees next to Sam's huddled form and gripped his shoulder. He felt Sam relax under his touch.

"Sam, hey. Talk to me. You okay?" Dean ducked his head to try to catch his brother's attention, but Sam's long finger obscured most of his face and prevented eye contact as they gripped at his forehead. Dean felt Sam's shoulders jump a few times and he heard him draw in a deep, shuddering breath. He moved his hands to cup either side of Sam's face and gently eased his head up. Sam's hands fell away with the movement to reveal his pale, bloodied face. Dean immediately zeroed in on the blood running from his nose. It appeared to have stopped already, but that made the fact that it had started to begin with no less disconcerting.

Dean gently wiped away the blood with his thumb, wincing quietly. _"God, Sammy. What did you do to yourself?" _He thought as he examined his brother's blood staining his fingertip. He looked up when he sensed his brother's gaze on him. Some form of fear shown bright in Sam's eyes. He held perfectly still, as if holding back for some reason. The childlike expression had returned to his face. An almost pleading quality added to the shine of Sam's eyes and Dean knew that at that moment, Sam need to be seen as what he was: his little brother. He knew that right at that moment Sam needed to be taken care of; everything else could wait.

Dean pulled the cuff of his right jacket sleeve up over his finger and gently wiped the rest of the blood off of Sam's face.

"Are you alright?" Dean felt his heart clench as twin tears rolled down Sam's face.

"I'm sorry." Sam whispered hoarsely. The sound of his brother's broken voice threatened to break Dean. He felt the pressure of tears push at the back of his eyes and a wave of anger suddenly washed through him. _"Why is this happening to him? All he ever wanted to be normal. He doesn't want this." _Dean pushed back tears and the desperate urge to punch something and shook his head emphatically.

"You didn't have a choice." Dean could almost see Sam's heart break through his eyes as if the intended comfort of the words had somehow sounded cruel to his ears. It took Dean only a moment to realize why. _"Damnit, he's only worried about you. He's worried about what you'll think. That you'll be angry or that you'll see him as some kind of freak." _Dean's face softened with the realization, his stomach feeling a little unsure again.

"I'm not mad at you, Sammy." Dean said softly, lowering his head a little to pull in Sam's attention. _"Nothing you could ever do could make me see you as anything else than what you are: my little brother." _

The words seemed to satisfy Sam. A few more tears rolled from his eyes and he hung his head. Dean took the moment to compose himself before taking a hold under Sam's arms and helping him back to lean against the wall. He moved his hands onto Sam's shoulders and gave them a little shake.

"Are. you. okay? And answer me this time." Sam sniffed loudly and shakily brought his arm up to wipe under his nose.

"Head hurts." He mumbled. Dean swallowed hard over the lump in his throat, but forced himself to remain focused. He hooked a finger under Sam's chin and lifted his face up for a better look.

"Any blurred vision? Black spots? Numbness anywhere?" Dean asked, examining Sam's pupils. Neither were dilated and they looked equal to each other.

"No." Answered Sam quietly. Dean dropped his hand and leaned back.

"How many fingers?" He asked, holding up his right hand.

"Three." Sam rasped. Dean nodded. _"Good." _At least he hadn't done any physical damage to himself. Dean looked Sam over carefully. _"Emotional or mental...that's another story." _Sam wasn't saying much. Dean _hated _Sam's silences. Too much went on in that head of his when he didn't speak, usually things that shouldn't be dwelled upon, or at least not at the moment.

Sam's eyes closed and he let his head thump back against the wall.

"M'tired." Sam's voice croaked. Dean duck-walked a little closer, his hands reaching out to hover over Sam's arms.

"Can you walk?"

"Didn't seem to work out too well the last time I tried." Sam lifted his head and looked at Dean, a weak smile not reaching his troubled eyes. Dean tried to return the gesture, but he knew it probably didn't come out looking right. _"He looks so fragile. You could've stopped this. Why didn't you kill that bastard before Sam went and hurt himself?" _

"Come on, I'll help. We'll make it okay." Dean had meant the words to sound comforting, but they instead seemed to trigger something in Sam and his eyes welled again. Sam bit his lower lip and dropped his head down. _"Bang up job making him feel better, Dean." _Dean ducked his head to look up into Sam's down-turned face.

"Hey." He said softly and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam raised his head a moment later and nodded.

"Yeah." He sniffed again. "Let's get the hell outta here."

Dean took another appraising look at his brother. _"What's going on in there, Sammy?" _He stood and reached down to pull Sam up after him. Dean felt most of Sam's weight lean against him and he didn't miss the blank look of dizziness on his brother's face. He held an arm tight around Sam's back, the other hand he splayed over Sam's chest; Dean couldn't help but notice the feel of Sam's heartbeat against his palm. Sam gave a small nod after a moment and Dean lifted his brother's right arm across his shoulders.

He looked down at the motionless body on the floor and made a quick decision to just leave it.

"What about him?" Sam asked quietly, sounding so very young. Dean didn't slow his gait, but continued walking he and Sam back towards the stone hallway.

"We're in a mausoleum. The way I see it...he's already where he's supposed to be." Dean felt mild relief when Sam didn't protest. He knew they really should salt and burn the body, for the sake of putting the man's soul to rest and for the sake of not drawing the attention of the law, but right now he really didn't care. With every step, Dean could feel Sam relying on him more and more for support. He wasn't sure exactly what the consequences of Sam's actions were, but whatever they were they were weighing heavily on him and Dean didn't know how much longer his little brother's strength would last.

They paused by where Ruby's knife lay, and Dean took Sam's arm from across his shoulders. He made sure to keep a firm grip on Sam's bicep as he bent down and picked up the knife. Dean stood back up, eyes trained on the weapon. _"Why didn't you just move? It took you three seconds to pick this damn thing up. Why couldn't you have done it five minutes ago?" _

"He knocked it away from me." Sam's quiet voice pulled Dean from his self-deprecating stupor and he sheathed the blade in an inside pocket of his jacket. He repositioned Sam's arm over his shoulder and they continued down the stony hall.

"You didn't have a choice, Sam...he would have killed you." _"Damnit, Sam he almost did. And I didn't do anything to stop it. I was just...I mean, you exorcised _the _Samhain, Sam! Using your powers. I just...I was caught off guard. And for that, I'm sorry."_

"But next time I say you're not going off by yourself, you wait for me. You understand me?"

Sam was quiet for a moment. In the silence Dean heard Sam's breathing quicken a little and if he listened very hard he could almost hear the grind of the wheels turning in Sam's head.

"Yeah, I understand." Sam said finally. _"Damn right." _Dean made a quick list of the hunts that had resulted in Sam being put in danger because they decided to split up; he counted seven times within a matter of moments. _"I'm surprised I haven't gone gray because of you, Sammy." _

"We're stronger as a family. You said that yourself once." It made Dean's heart ache to think of how much had changed since the day Sam had said that to their father. So much had happened. So much was...royally screwed up. It wasn't fair. But then again not much in life, especially theirs, was ever fair. _"I've still got you though, Sam." _

"There's nothing we can't handle if we take it on together." _"And you've still got me...please, _please_, Sam. Always remember that you are not alone in this." _Dean looked resolutely ahead, feeling the muscles in his jaw jump as he worked to deal with the emotion bubbling up inside of him.

"I want you to never forget that, Sammy." Dean heard his voice come out more quietly and less urgent than he had aimed for, but he hoped the words got through to Sam all the same. He knew Sam was freaked, scared, lost. He knew Sam felt like an outsider. "A whole new level of freak" as he had put it on the hunt for Jack the Rugaru. Dean inwardly cringed at the memory. He had been so damn pissed when he'd found Sam exorcising that demon, going against what he wanted, against what Sam himself had even noted had been his dying wish. But still, Sam had gone against it anyway.

Dean had been furious, and for good reason, but mostly he'd been scared. _Was _scared. But so was Sam. Dean knew he should have been trying to help Sam deal with everything that was going on in his life, not yelling at him and making him feel worse. Dean realized that was all he could do: be there for Sam, protect him, and help him deal. _"As long as I'm around...nothing bad is gonna happen to you." _The memory came out of nowhere: a dark motel room following the aftermath of one hell of day. Dean had said those words with complete confidence. He'd believed they were true and he remembered the look on Sam's face that had told him that he believed they were true as well.

_"As long as I'm around..." _There was no longer a time constraint on that promise and for the third time in his life, Dean felt as if he'd been given another chance. Not only another chance at life, but another chance to keep that promise he'd made that night in Saginaw. The same promise he'd made the night a baby Sam had been placed in his arms, a precious burden he'd carried each and every day leading up to the present. Sam had always been Dean's responsibility, but never his obligation. It was never something he _had _to do, but rather he wanted and needed to do. He _wanted _Sam to be happy and safe. Dean _needed _to put Sam before everything because without him, nothing else existed.

Dean loved his brother. That was all it ever came down to. If every single outrageous or reckless thing that he'd done for Sam throughout his entire life were to be questioned, they could all be answered with that simple statement. Dean hoped that Sam knew that and would never forget it.

They'd reached the stairs leading back up to outside and Dean readjusted his hold on Sam's wrist. He felt his brother's fingers curl around and fist the cuff of his jacket. To anyone else, the action would have seemed meaningless or done for purely reliant reasons, but Dean could read the meaning behind the gesture with the same skill that a blind person reads braille. They were able to hold onto so little in their lives that Dean had learned that Sam, whenever the opportunity presented itself, literally held on as tight as he could. Dean gave Sam's wrist an answering squeeze and held on just as tightly. _"I'm always right here, Sam. I'll always be watching out for you. Nothing on earth, in Hell, or Heaven will ever stop me from doing that."_

_**The End**_

-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V.-.V-.V.-.V.-.V.-

**A Few Final Notes**

_Okay so...did ya like? Was it too much the same of Sam's POV? Let me know!!!! : D_

_I really enjoy writing Dean and trying to figure out what thoughts might be going through his head at certain points in time. I really feel like I can identify with him and I actually am starting to see a lot of myself in him lately. That sounded vaguely dirty, but it's late and I think I'm entitled to random thoughts that just go straight from my brain down to my fingers to the keyboard. _

_Aaaanywho, thank you for all the lovely reviews and for the rest of you, I hope you enjoyed the story. Now if you excuse me, I am going off to catch some much-anticipated sleep._

_Reviews are like Romeo...and I'm Juliet._

_-.V.-Lil-.V.-_


End file.
